Breastfeeding

I am breastfeeding my daughter who is 4 mos exclusively...it's funny because with my first born, I had planned to do the same but I felt really insecure about it at the hospital! I kept thinking is she getting anything?! Then she would still take the formula, so I was totally confused! So, I ended up doing both! lol

Since my second was in NICU and I had to pump to establish milk supply, I knew what she was getting....As she left the NICU, I worried if she would take the breast and she initially didn't want it. Now, the girl won't take the bottle! It's crazy! I can pump milk and put it in the bottle and she refuses to take it!

But anyway, I am not sure I am going to exclusively breastfeed but I am looking forward to her eating solids. I tried but I don't think she was quite ready so I'll try again next week or so.

My New Baby

I found out I was pregnant June of 2010, June 23rd, to be exact...my birthday. I suspected I was pregnant but my fiancee' (at that time) thought I was exaggerating...so imagine the shock when he realized I actually was. We were totally unprepared for another child. Our wedding was right around the corner, July 10th of 2010 and I had just lost my job in May. But I figured it was meant to be so I continued with the pregnancy and hoped it wouldn't interfere with my wedding dress! Yikes!
My pregnancy went well.. I mean yeah, I had morning sickness but it was better than the first....at least initially. Just to recap, with my first pregnancy, I had preeclampsia so for me, that was my major concern. I kept thinking, "please don't let me develop preclampsia again" because as a result of preeclampsia, my first born had to be born early. So, second time around no excessive water retention around the ankles like I had with the first. So, I pretty much assumed I would be home free but I was wrong...so wrong.
Around 28 wks, I had an ultrasound and the specialist thought I had too much fluid so he suggested I stay away from sugar...I remember thinking "what is he talking about because I don't eat a lot of junk food" but my doc said it was subjective because objectively the fluid levels were fine.
Fast forward to 30 wks, I start seeing slight blood and had light cramping so I go to the hospital and they managed to stop the "premature labor" but a sonogram revealed my baby had a potential abdominal blockage. However, at this point it wasn't confirmed and I was advised to go back to my specialist. So, of course, I am hoping that this tech is wrong...how could this be possible? And what could this mean for my baby?
The following week, Dec 22nd, at 31 wks my fears came true....my baby had a blockage that prevented her from adequately swallowing the amniotic fluid, in turn, this was causing much stress on the pregnancy...I looked further along than I was because of the excess amniotic fluid. All of a sudden my stomach looked bigger over night.......And oh my back, I just remember my stomach starting to bother me because of all the excess fluid. They call it polyhydramnios.
Anyway, after hearing the news on the 22nd, I was referred to another specialist who confirmed my baby had jejunal astresia. The jejunum is part of the small intestine and apparently in my baby, it didn't form properly...a birth defect...the last thing I expected.
With my first born, the sonogram tech said that everything about this baby physically is perfect than I get pregnant again and my baby had a birth defect. I just never thought about this being an issue with my baby! I guess you assume because you had a healthy baby the 1st time around, you will have the same with all others...but all pregnancies are different! My first was ahead of schedule and at 35 weeks the tech said she was ready, if she needed to come! They took her at 36 wks due to the preeclampsia and she was good to go at 7lbs and 12 oz!
Anyway, back to my second baby....
I also learned that my baby was going to be sent to NICU immediately after birth...bummer! I remember crying on my drive home! I was so devastated! Not too mention that polyhydramnios puts you at high risk for premature labor. But the specialist recommended an amnioreduction, with the hopes of reducing my amniotic fluid so 1) it could enable to hopefully sustain the pregnancy and put less pressure on my uterus (since specialist said my body thinks I am full-term because of all the water) and 2) to make me more comfortable...e.g. backaches...so I figured let's go for it.
I am thinking it would be best for my baby of course to stay in my womb for a couple weeks longer and if it made me feel better, more power....at this time, I had my two year old so I needed to keep up with her so I am thinking this HAS to work.
So, on Dec 28th, I had the amnioreduction (aka amniocentesis) because according to the doc, I was carrying around the Atlantic ocean...lol

In addition to having the amnioreduction, I had to have an MRI. The MRI would tell them if there was a blockage in any other area of the small intestine. The specialist informed me that some defects were due to down syndrome (another potential bummer) but he informed me that other astresias such as duodenum, esphagus, etc are more so associated. With my baby, it was only one defect and jejunal astresia by itself is rarely associated with down syndrome. But obviously since they were draining fluid from me, they were going to test it....still the fear.
(But I found out a couple days after she was born that she tested negative for down syndrome). So, I guess it was one of nature's mishaps is how the specialist explained her birth defect...looking online some sites support his explainations and some say, it's genetics...really don't know...jejunal astresia is really rare...like 1/500 babies get it...and unfortunately, my baby was one of the ones to get it...

Anyway, back to my story...

The MRI was scary as hell...hated it. I felt like I was going to die! But I kept thinking about what my baby was going to have to deal with at birth...surgery and all so it kept me through!
The amniocentesis was weird...to have a needle stuck through your stomach but if it could help me sustain the pregnancy, it's worth a try.

As soon as the procedure was completed, the resident tells me he hopes he doesn't see me back during New Year's eve...which worries me because "doesn't he feel that this procedure will be successful"? But he's hopefully and he stresses to me to take it easy... Hmmm....well, after the procedure I felt great. My stomach went down and I felt less pressure. It was the night of the 30th, I am feeling great, I take a shower and put on my pajamas and get some popcorn. As I get the popcorn out of the microwave, my water breaks! I was so devastated!!!! I wanted to believe I was dreaming because I felt good. I really thought I'd be able to carry the pregnancy at least until mid January....Man, how wrong I was and how disappointed I was too. I knew my water broke but I hated the thought of her coming early and I really didn't feel like dealing with all there was to come. I wanted to be pregnant and enjoy it for awhile before the grim reality of me being separated from my baby.....So, for awhile I told myself it was discharge but I kept leaking and I couldn't ignore so I knew I had to go to the hospital.
I gathered up my 2 y/o and called for help since my husband was at work. My relatives came and we drove to the hospital. They confirmed my water did break and put the belt on me to monitor baby heartbeat and contractions. It was somewhere around 5am that the nurse came in asking me to switch sides because she couldn't hear the baby's heartbeat. I switched sides and she still couldn't hear it, while she kept moving it around...then she screams 'your baby's heart is dropping" and screams for help! Before you know it, I am being rushed to surgery because they need to get the baby asap before she dies! ugh! talk about fear...the only thing my husband and I could do is look at each other, with no words! They immediately put me out so I have no clue what time my baby was born or anything such as that...it's almost like I wasn't even there but I was....I woke up and they said she was 4 lbs and 1 oz...I was 32 wks. I briefly saw her and later the brought her to my room before she was transferred to Children's. I later found out my placenta abrupted, which is also associated with polyhydramnios...
The following day after her birth, New Year's, she had surgery for jejunal astresia. And it took 5wks to her recovery that she was able to come home.
My eyes water up just thinking about the ordeal. It was really hard...visiting her in the NICU on a daily basis and being patient...my oldest daughter couldn't see her so I could only tell her about the baby. The hardest thing about your child being in NICU is being patient and finding joy in small accomplishments as each accomplishment builds upon the next.
With her surgery to her lower abdomen, they had to let her stomach clear so they had a tube in her mouth to drain fluid...somewhere around the 10th, they gave her a little of breastmilk but she started throwing up and they said we needed to go back to the drawing board so feedings stopped. Obviously, I hated this because it meant coming home was delayed...Furthermore, without eating, she wasn't gaining weight, just maintaining her weight from being on TPN (IV). But on Jan 21st she started eating and picked up weight immediately and came home on the 4th of February...
She did have to return to the hospital after she developed jaundice and the pediatrician felt she needed to go to the hospital..I was devastated. I called my husband crying because I felt god had presented me with a baby with all these problems and worried if my life would be filled with dealing with a sick baby who need constant care. Nevertheless, he mentioned her blood was really low as if there was some serious underlying condition. And if anyone knows reading online and self diagnosing, it can get crazy!
So, she was hospitalized for another week the last week of February so they could determine what was causing jaundice. I later learned that being on TPN as she was for 4.5 weeks could cause jaundice as well as elevated liver enzymes as my daughter had...it's a side effect. She had these issues as she was discharged the first time around but it usually goes away. With my daughter it didn't because she developed a urinary tract infection and that aggravated her jaundice levels.
So, after that week in the hospital, she's been home ever since...it was a long week and I stayed there every night. I couldn't imagine being home without her esp since she had been home and we adjusting to her...but also she was exclusively breastfed and I didn't wanna disrupt her routine.
But God does answer prayers, she's doing really well. We still go to Children's but for outpatient visits until her jaundice and liver enzymes continue to decrease...I didn't realize it could take months but I think this will be the last month of those visits.

She's 4 mos old now and you'd never know she was born prematurely because she's a chubby little thing. Initially, people would say she was so small but around 3 mos or so she went through a growth spurt and gained all this weight....
I love my little baby, she has brought such joy to our family and when she smiles, I realize how worth it the experience was.
BUT don't think I'll be having anymore! Pregnancy is just not for me! lol...my doctor joked that maybe if I had a boy, he'd give less problems than my girls....but I am likely through! lol

catching up

Hey! It's been a long time and a lot has happened since I have last written. I am underemployed...working but not a permanent position but it helps me generate income. So, my daughter is in daycare. She seems to like it and she loves interacting with other kids, so it works! It's quite a transition for us both I am sure. But it has been a while now so we're both used to it.
In the meantime, I am planning my wedding in July so it's been a busy year!
It is finally starting to get warm in my area after having several snow storms this year that left many of us out of work for days! It was a paid day off and we got to spend more time with each other, so I loved it!

It's been a longtime!

Okay, I haven't written in a longtime. I guess I haven't been a faithful blogger as I had hoped. Well, my daughter is finally weaned. By June, I had her off so I breastfed for 13 months. Longer than I had originally anticipated. When she was first born, I had said six months so I am proud of myself. School is almost over, still unemployed but I am enjoying spending time with my daughter on a full-time basis. I am thankful that I have had this opportunity to be home with her (when I would have otherwise been at work) and have been able to still pay the bills.
So, she is seventeen months now...almost a year and a half. She's been a lot of fun. She loves singing and dancing to Beyonce's single ladies! It's so funny!
Well, off to the library I go.............lata!

This past weekend was pretty laid back. I didn't do what I had planned to do, which is probably why it was so laid back! We kinda stayed in most of Saturday. I ended up taking a nap since I woke up around 7:30 Saturday morning. After the nap, we attempted to go to the park but it appeared to be closed so I got a Latte from McDonald's and we watched a movie, and that was it.
I guess McDonald's is the new competition for Starbuck's. They are now offering coffee similar to Starbucks at a cheaper price. I wonder how Starbuck's is going to survive. I already heard that they were losing customers to the economy and now here comes McDonald's.
I haven't been to Starbucks in awhile, mainly because I have been breastfeeding for the past year and then I was preggers so I made the decision to stay away from coffee. But even still, I have always saw it as expensive. So, it was always something that was a treat every month or so. Even with McDonald's Vanilla Latte, I paid almost $3.00, will be a luxury every now and then. Although, I have heard that the Lattes at Dunkin Donuts are cheaper. Speaking of donuts, I wouldn't mind having one today. I haven't had a donut in a good while.
Okay, time to make breakfast, take my daughter to get the MMR/ varicella vaccination, and homework.

I can't believe it's Friday. The days just go by so fast! Well, I have been trying to get my daughter to sleep in her crib. My fiancee says that I am wasting my time because she may sleep in the crib, initially, but she'll wake up two hours later and I end up putting her in the bed. He says I have gotten her so used to her routine that I might as well continue with it until she's older. Now what do you think? I think it'll take some effort but I could possibly switch her routine....
But I haven't been that successful with weaning her. I can't get away during the day without doing it but at night, it doesn't work too well. If I try to rock her (as my mom does when she's with her) she just looks at me, eyes wide, as if she's thinking, what the heck are you doing lady? So, I don't know. I don't even think I have that much milk left but she associates sleeping with this routine! Frustrating!

Well, I must say I was really disappointed when Danny got voted off. I was hoping it would have been Kris. Now don't get me wrong, Kris did do really well with the second song and I was jammin' to it but I like my danny! Even Simon and the other judges were surprised. Well, regardless he'll do well in the future. So, now that Danny is gone, I am now a Kris fan! Yippee!
Well, school is getting busy and motherhood is just as well. For Mother's Day, my fiancee' took me, mom, and my daughter out to eat. It was really nice. I was surprised that wasn't a long wait. I only waited about 7 minutes at most and then we were seated. We did go rather early in the day around 2:30pm so maybe that explains it. It was just nice being out.
I am trying to enjoy life more these days as well as treat myself more often. So, yesterday I got a pedicure and recently got my eyebrows and hair cut. The weather is getting nice and I need to look nice. Now if I could only lose some of this belly fat.......